Heidi Approved This Face Lift

In the spirit of Joan Rivers, the ever-famous and plastic surgery queen Heidi Montag and countless other celebrities who swear by face lifts and botox, I too have joined in their belief and given myself a plastic surgery job.  Ok, yeah it was only on my blog, but the time investment to get to this point may have been just as much as going under the knife. 

So, here we are.  New and much improved. 

Really, a lot has happened since my last blog.  Heidi and Spencer actually divorced, Brittany Murphy's husband was found dead, Sex and the City2 hit the big screen, The Hills exited into TV syndication, another American Idol has been crowned, American Idol has been left with no judges, an American Idol has tried unsuccessfully to kill herself and Kourtney Kardashian has remained with Scott Diseck, among other things.  But, clearly the most important entertainment event that has happened in the past few months is the premiere of The Jersey Shore 2. 

The recap for those of you without cable television because I'm sure if you have cable TV you are watching. The gang is headed down to Miami for drunken antics and killer quotes I have now adopted in my vernacular (this makes me cool not lame).

Angelina is back. Who knows why, but somewhere in her warped mind she thinks she is wanted. After hooking up with both The Situation and Pauly prior to season 2 (which she thinks makes her presence desired although the look on The Situation's face seems to make me think otherwise) she strolls in with her shorty shorts asking to room with her two past hook ups.  Nice, Angelina. But not quite as nice as getting drunk, trying to prevent Pauly D from creepin' and then slapping Pauly D (who slaps Pauly??).  She's not as terrible as first season.  But then again we're only on episode 3 or so.

Sammi and Ronnie (although for some reason people have started calling him Ron which is just dumb) are split, but not really, but are when Ronnie goes out creepin, but not when he gets back from the bar, but are the next day when they wake up.  And, repeat to figure out whether they are together or not.  I am personally not the president of Sammi's fan club, but you gotta feel bad for the girl. At least a little bit. Ronnie makes her think he is all in love with her, then call her names and sends her home in tears (seriously like every night) and then proceeds to get wasted and creep, maybe even double creep on grenades. Grenades! Then when he gets home, after stumbling, slurring and being so drunk that even The Situation calls him Sloppy Joe, crawls in bed with Sammi and asks if they can smoosh. Seriously? But, with the passive aggressive, "we told her even though we really didn't tell her" letter that is about to drop this week, we'll see what happens to Guido Barbie and Ken. My guess...they get back together. Until the break up. And then get back together.

JWOWW is pretty much as bad ass this season as she was last season. She is sort of my idol. Shh. Don't tell anybody. She rocks. And from the preview is going to kill Sammi later this season. Who fights JWOWW? An idiot who keeps taking Ronnie back after his creep addition it seems.

Vinny. I don't know what to say really. I love Vinny, but he hasn't been extremely entertaining this season. Not yet anyways. Maybe he can steal the gelato shop owner's wife later this season. 

DJ Pauly D is quickly working his way up to favorite status. He still has a lot of work to do to surpass The Situation but he is inching on up. He's recently been added to the Twitter list, which is a huge step in the right direction. Congrats, Pauly. With lines like "My hair doesn't move going 120 down the highway. I don't know why this guy thinks it's going to move in a gelato shop." he really has a chance to take the award home for best lines of season 2. (On a side note, is it just me, or is it just hilarious in itself that they work in a gelato shop? There's something about Pauly scooping up mango gelato that amuses me.

Snooki continues to bring pure entertainment. Her recap of the "dancer" from season 1 while somewhere down south almost made me squirt milk out my nose if I drank milk. I also appreciated when he dropped the chicken The Situation had marinating and just kinda stared at it before asking The Situation what to do. Come on. We've all done that, right? Well, I know I have so I feel your pain Snooki.

And, finally, The Situation. After getting the car stuck in the mud, setting off fireworks, inventing the IFF and support a GFA he continues to be (let's admit it) the star of the show. He even got the rest of the cast to give Angelina a chance. Only divine intervention could have one that. He identified the grenades in the hot tub after splashing water on his face, eats chocolate chip cookies every night and is still FTD. If only Ronnie could be so lucky when he motor boats those grenades at the club.

The show, in addition to bringing me laughter and joy every Thursday night (and throughout the week since I clearly DVR it and bought the quote book from season 1) has truly revolutionized our society. People love it or hate, but either way they have an opinion. People say things like FTD, GTL, MIA, IFF and GFA. The Situation has launched protein shakes helping people build their abs and boost their guido look. I mean, Snooki and The Situation are brands in themselves. Well done. If only Angelina would refuse to work in the gelato shop and go on home. (Lucky for us she did turn down season 3 since she didn't click with the cast. Gee I wonder why.)

Check back Friday for a more detailed recap of Thursday's episode. I'm already excited. Pathetic or not it's true.

Fist pumpin' till Thursday getting ready to beat the beat up and support a grenade free America.